Overachievers Part 2: Burnout isn’t just exhaustion. It has 12 stages.
If you saw yourself in the spinning plates analogy in this blog post, this one’s for you.
Let’s dive deeper.
Burnout isn’t something that happens overnight. It doesn’t show up all at once with a neon sign saying, “Hey, you’ve done too much.” Instead, it creeps in, quietly and subtly, until suddenly, you’re burnt out and not quite sure how you got there.
That’s where the work of psychologists Herbert Freudenberger and Gail North comes in. They created a framework that outlines 12 stages of burnout. Yes, twelve. And you don’t have to be at the end of the list for it to be a problem.
Dr. Herbert Freudenberger
Who Were Freudenberger and North?
In the 1970s, Dr. Herbert Freudenberger, a German-American psychologist, became one of the first to coin the term “burnout.” He noticed something happening to people who were passionate about their work, like doctors, therapists, and overall high achievers. They were running themselves into the ground.
Gail North, a clinical psychologist, expanded on Freudenberger’s work and helped articulate the full range of symptoms people experience as they slide into burnout. Their combined research changed how we talk about stress and overwork which still resonates today.
Because burnout doesn’t look the same for everyone. For some, it’s flat-out collapse. For others, it’s a slow unraveling, hidden under layers of competence.
Let’s talk about the stages.
The 12 Stages of Burnout (and What They Might Look Like in You)
You might not relate to every stage. However, chances are, a few of these will feel very familiar.
Stage 1: The Compulsion to Prove Yourself
You start with a need to prove your worth to others or to yourself. You say “yes” to everything. You take on more than you should. You feel the urge to be indispensable.
Stage 2: Working Harder
You push. You stay late. You volunteer. You tell yourself, “If I can just get through this week.” But the week becomes a month, and you’re still grinding.
Stage 3: Neglecting Your Needs
Sleep? Movement? Eating actual meals? All get sacrificed for the to-do list. You start to view self-care as optional or indulgent.
Stage 4: Displacement of Conflict
You’re irritable. Snapping at your partner or becoming snippy in work meetings. But you can’t quite put your finger on why you’re so angry or agitated.
Stage 5: Revision of Values
Work becomes your identity. Friends, hobbies, joy? They start to fade into the background. You say, “I just don’t have time right now.”
Stage 6: Denial of Problems
You convince yourself that nothing’s wrong. You downplay the stress. “It’s just a busy season,” you say… for the third year in a row.
Stage 7: Withdrawal
You cancel plans. You ghost texts. You feel disconnected from people who used to light you up. Social time feels more draining than nourishing.
Stage 8: Odd Behavioral Changes
Maybe you start drinking more. Or you become unusually cynical. You’re not sure who you’re becoming, but it doesn’t feel like you.
Stage 9: Depersonalization
You start to feel numb. Like you’re going through the motions in your own life. Like you’re watching things happen from outside your body.
Stage 10: Inner Emptiness
The passion is gone. The spark has died out. Even rest doesn’t feel restorative. You’re exhausted. Not just physically, but existentially.
Stage 11: Depression
This isn’t just sadness. It’s deep, heavy, and persistent. You might feel hopeless or trapped. Getting through the day feels monumental.
Stage 12: Burnout Syndrome
This is the crash. Physical illness. Panic attacks. Mental breakdowns. Everything that’s been slowly eroding finally collapses.
Recognizing Yourself in the Stages
Here’s the thing: you don’t need to be in stage 12 to need help. Even if you’re in stage 3, or stage 7, that’s your sign. (Heck, even BETTER if you can recognize this in stage 1!)
Burnout doesn’t get better with willpower. It gets better with awareness, support, and new choices.
So let’s make this practical.
Ask yourself:
Which of these stages am I in right now?
What have I normalized that isn’t actually normal or sustainable?
What warning signs am I ignoring because I’m “too busy”?
It’s okay if this feels overwhelming. That’s what burnout does: it numbs you, disconnects you, makes you feel like there’s no way out.
But there is. And it starts with noticing.
The Slow Road Back (Is Still the Right Road)
Burnout recovery isn’t about going back to “how things used to be.” It’s about building something better and something sustainable.
At Moxie Wellness, I help high-functioning, exhausted people unlearn the belief that their worth is tied to how much they can carry. We rebuild from the inside out through therapy, nervous system support, and real conversations about what matters.
You don’t have to wait for stage 12. You don’t have to wait until something breaks.
You’re allowed to rest. To reflect. To reach out.
Ready to name your stage and take the next step?
Let’s sort through it together. Schedule a free consultation or book your first session today.
